Choosing Growth Over Reaction

Becoming a Vessel of Love and Peace

In this season of my life, I find myself standing my ground more than ever before especially when people do or say things that are hurtful or disrespectful. I am learning that standing firm does not always require raising my voice, defending my intentions, or proving my point. Sometimes, it simply means knowing who I am, whose I am, and refusing to allow careless words to steal the peace God has worked so hard to establish within me.

People can be incredibly thoughtless and passive with the way they speak. Often, words are released without reflection, without prayer, without consideration for how deeply they may affect someone else. We live in a culture that applauds “speaking your truth,” yet there is a very thin line between honesty and cruelty, between boldness and being heartless. Truth without love does not heal, it wounds. And love without wisdom can become silence when God calls us to discernment.

Scripture reminds us of the balance God desires for His people:

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

—Ephesians 4:15

There is nothing wrong with standing up for what you believe in. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries or protecting your heart. Boundaries are not walls; they are safeguards. But awareness must be present. Wisdom must lead. Love must always be the filter through which our words and actions pass.

Recently, three people I know took a simple, genuine comment and responded with such a passive aggressive manner that it took everything in me to hold my tongue. I won’t pretend their words didn’t hurt; they did. Words have a way of lingering, replaying themselves in our minds long after the moment has passed. In that instant, my flesh wanted to respond quickly, sharply, and defensively. I wanted to correct them, explain myself, and make sure they understood the impact of their words.

But I knew that responding from a wounded place would only deepen the pain and pull me out of alignment with who God is shaping me to be.

So instead, I stepped back. I paused. I prayed. I chose not to respond in the flesh.

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.”

—Romans 12:17

This pause was not weakness it was obedience. It was an act of trust. Trust that God sees. Trust that He hears. Trust that He is my defender, even when I choose silence.

Our words hold incredible power. They can affirm or crush, heal or harm, restore or destroy. Scripture makes this unmistakably clear:

“The tongue has the power of life and death.”

—Proverbs 18:21

How many people have been wounded because someone spoke without thinking? How many hearts carry scars from words that were spoken casually but landed heavily? And if we are honest, how many times have we ourselves spoken from emotion rather than wisdom?

As I strive to live intentionally, I am learning to create a sacred space within myself a space guarded by prayer, discernment, and self-control. A space where hurtful actions and careless comments no longer have authority or permission to linger. This doesn’t mean the pain disappears instantly. It means I refuse to allow pain to dictate my behavior or define my response.

Real growth for me this year looks like choosing maturity over impulse. It means becoming proactive instead of reactive. It means learning to pause, pray, and process before responding. I am choosing not to let old triggers, past wounds, or emotional reactions push me to lash out or return negativity with negativity.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

—James 1:19

This kind of growth is not easy. It requires surrender. It requires humility. It requires daily dependence on God. But it is necessary if I am to become the woman He is calling me to be.

My goal is not perfection, but progression. I want to grow daily so that I can be a better vessel, one that carries love instead of offense, peace instead of bitterness, grace instead of retaliation. I want my life to reflect Christ, especially in moments when silence, patience, and self-control speak louder than words ever could.

A Prayer for Growth, Wisdom, and Peace

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the work You are doing in my heart. Thank You for every lesson, every stretching moment, and every opportunity to choose You over my flesh. Lord, help me to be slow to speak and quick to listen. Guard my tongue and soften my heart so that my words reflect Your love and not my emotions.

Teach me to respond with wisdom instead of reaction, with grace instead of defensiveness, and with peace instead of pride. When I am hurt, remind me that You are my defender. When I am triggered, anchor me in Your truth. Help me to pause, pray, and trust You with what I cannot control.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Make me a vessel of love, peace, and compassion in a world that so desperately needs it.

 May my life point others to You, not just in what I say, but in how I respond.

I surrender my words, my reactions, and my growth to You.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen